the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
