i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
