im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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