Its about making memories worth repressing
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
