Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
