she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
