I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
