There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
only if we run a train.
done.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
