i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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