Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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