I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
