No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
