trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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