Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
