that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize