Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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