Im at strip club and am horny
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
