I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
