you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
