google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
