Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
