my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
