Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
