So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
