So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
