apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
people are starting to question the shark bite story
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
