I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
