trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
All I want is dick and wine.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
