Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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