A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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