Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
