Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
