Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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