none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Bang-toberfest begins!!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
