did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
