I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
