All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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