Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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