i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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