That's when you crack a 10am beer
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
