Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
