I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I understand Curling. That high.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
