Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize