That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
