I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
