You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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