I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize