I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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