If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I currently don't understand fingers.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
