It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
