and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
