Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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