Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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