i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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