I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
