I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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