Need sex. Gaining weight.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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