great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I showed him my bush... on skype.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
