You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize