So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i think my cat just said my name.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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