Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It was confusing and full of hummus
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just want nice things and good sex
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
