I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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