community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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