I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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