He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We got so high we made milksteak
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
