My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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