That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
