Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
