im gay
i know
yea but for you.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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