It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
