Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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